“Am I doing a good job being a mother?”

One day I asked myself, “Am I doing a good job being a mother?” I believed that I spent more time at work than at home. I worked so that I could provide for my child, and me but being away from my child was starting to get to me. I would feel sad and often found myself apologizing to my child for not being around. I felt so bad that he would spend so much time in someone else’s care while I worked.

This had to change. But, how? In my mind, I was not the best Mom. So, I prayed to God and asked Him to help me to be the best Mom that I could be to my child. After this prayer, I would begin to make sure that I speak to my child to reassure him how much I loved him and how much I would rather be with him than at work. I did not want him to ever mistake me working late as me not loving him. I would explain to him why mommy had to work late and he would understand.

However, I wanted more of a relationship with him. Therefore, I pressed with my relationship with him. I would make it my business to ask him about his day. I would ask questions like, “What did you have for lunch” and “Whom did you play with at recess?” I had to make sure that he knew that I did not want to miss a minute of his day. Willingly, he would fill me in. I continued to add more strategies to my repertoire. At least once a month we would have a “Mommy and Son” date. I would plan a day for him and me, which did not include errands; it was just quality time between the two of us. We would go to breakfast, lunch, or dinner or go see a movie. I would let him know that it was all about him and he grew to appreciate it. I just loved whenever he would say, “Mommy remember when we went…?” Just to know that our little dates meant so much to him reassured me that my mommy skills were not as bad as I thought.

I know that I am not the only single mom having to work and take care of the family. I know that I’m not the only mom who feels that she is not doing her best as a mom, but I am here to say, “Turn to God for guidance.” After going to God, I began to develop the strength to use “mommy” strategies to build my relationship with my son.

Here are the some strategies I learned:

1. Have conversations with your child so that they understand life.

2. Make sure you support them 100% in all that they do.

3. Pray often and pray with your child. I pray with my son and WE ask God together to bless us and provide for us so that mommy does not have to work so hard.

After praying and using the above strategies, I now prioritize my son’s activities above work activities. I make it my business to be at every school show, awards ceremony and any extra curriculum activities in the front row cheering my baby on!! It’s all worth it.

When he gives me that smile, when we do the “secret handshake”, when he hugs me and when he says, “Mommy I love you,” that question, in the back of my head, of whether or not I’m a good mother goes bye bye!!

I may not be the best mom out here but I pray to God to continue to allow me to be the best that I can be.